On 19 and 23 March I wrote about the sudden and wholly unforseen death of my guide dog, Drew (please see http://kevin-morris.co.uk/2011/03/23/further-thoughts-on-drew/). Yesterday (25 March) Drew returned to us or rather her ashes came home in a beautiful wooden box.
My wife collected Drew’s ashes from the vet’s as I was in work and couldn’t have got to the surgery in time to collect Drew. On the way home my wife and daughter walked through a local park where we had often walked Drew. My wife told me that, as she walked through the park thoughts of Drew chasing foxes in that very same spot came to mind. We can all recollect Drew, full of life shooting off in hot pursuit of mr fox! When I think of such things I feel happiness tinged with sadness, happiness at my fond memories of Drew full of life and the joys of living and regret that I’ll never walk with my dear old friend again.
I’ve always considered myself to be a rational person. However, as I walked home yesterday evening I looked forward to seeing Drew again. Of course I will never see my dog again, she is gone into that country from who’s bourne no traveller returns but I couldn’t put those ilogical thoughts out of my mind.
On getting home I couldn’t help smiling when my daughter said “Drew is on the table”. Despite my sadness the idea of a large golden labradoor, on our small round table was so bizarre that I smiled involuntarily. Of course what was on the table was not a fully grown labradoor but a wooden box containing Drew’s ashes. As I handled the box I burst into tears. The box is, as I said beautiful but it smells of varnish and has a sterility about it, a sterility totally at variance with the scents of the open air which will forever be associated with my walks with Drew in the many parks and woods we traversed in our time together.
I’m glad that we have Drew’s ashes back but it is, ultimately the memories of Drew bounding around happily, the feelings which I and others who knew Drew carry in our hearts which matter.